Sunday, February 10, 2008

Should You Leave?

by Peter D. Kramer

"A tour de force of analytical insight . . . moving and edifying." — New York Times

"Dr. Kramer's Should You Leave? is an imaginative and original meditation upon the subject of human relations; the therapist's role or roles; the tragi-comedy of 'adult' life; the paradox of 'advice'-offering in a context of highly complex and perhaps unknowable emotions — Should You Leave? is a startlingly intimate document, written with verve and insight." — Joyce Carol Oates

"A thinking person's self-help book . . . Dr. Kramer's optimism about relationships is infectious." — Wall Street Journal

‘Kramer has a talent for developing fascinating characters and engaging cases and for translating complex schools of clinical thought that a broad audience can understand. His respect for marriage, its possibilities as well as its pitfalls, is clear as he recognizes the extraordinary challenge of truly knowing and relating to another person.” — New York Times Book Review

"Kramer has written a kind of therapeutic "Walden" for the present-day urban scene, in which a moral wisdom drawn from the solitary soul communing with nature is replaced by one drawn from much more difficult waters to swim in -- the socially muddy pond of love and marriage." — Boston Globe

"Eloquent, complex, often startling . . . Kramer moves gracefully between the anecdotal and the theoretical, amplifying individual cases by placing them in a cultural context." — Mirabella

“This is not a book for or about victims. It is not about being right or wrong, placing blame, finding your perfect partner. It is neither a self-help manual nor an extended academic thesis. Despite its subject matter it is literary in style, personal in tone, and a long, subtle fascinating read . . . Why should you choose to read this book? For the same reason that we read fiction—to discover hidden truths . . . just as fiction can be surprisingly therapeutic, good popular psychology can transport us beyond our immediately blinkered present.” — Scotland on Sunday

"Among popular scientist writers only Stephen Jay Gould and Oliver Sacks approach the literary self-awareness that Kramer brings to his prose." — Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel

“Hauntingly relevant . . . a far cry from such bland and patronizing self-help bibles as Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus or Women Who Love Too Much, with their cosy language and behavioural checklists . . . A vital contribution to a debate which rarely gets the intellectual attention it deserves.” — [U.K.] Independent

"Kramer applies steady critical pressure to his own effort throughout, so that Should You Leave? also serves as a meditation on the nature of advice itself. The result is an oddly compelling book, one that by dismantling the conventions of its genre presents a worthwhile and — perhaps — lasting example of it." — The Second Pass

“An accessible, absorbingly honest piece, where fiercely real characters are shuffled around in a series of painfully recognizable scenarios . . . An intelligent, morally poised meditation on the human impulse to connect.” — [U.K.] Mail on Sunday

“A calm voice in our hysterical society.” — [U.K.] Express

"Wonderfully . . . and vividly recounted. . . . Dr. Kramer is able to synthesize complex research and play generous tribute to his intellectual benefactors." — New York Observer

"A stunning and moving look at the many-layered complexities of intimacy . . . Kramer has produced a book . . . more illuminating than any how-to could ever be." —Kirkus Reviews, * starred review

"Has the verisimilitude and insight that is the hallmark of the best —and truest —fiction" —Publisher's Weekly, * starred review

"With this book Peter Kramer yet again brings to psychiatric commentaryhis extraordinary intellect, his broad literary and philosophicalknowledge, his wonderful way with narrative exposition. He is a pleasureto read, and his original, wise reflections are a gift to all of us." — Robert Coles

"This book does so many things well that it's impossible to pay tribute to all of them. It contains riveting wisdom about what attracts people toeach other and the deals we make in marrying. It helps me think moreclearly about what I see in the lives around me. I gobbled it up." — Phyllis Rose

"Probing and persuasive, Kramer gets you thinking in new ways about the eternal interplay of autonomy and connection." — People

“Completely absorbing.” — New York Daily News

"Kramer has written a searching, serious book. He is not just exploring autonomy and intimacy in relationships, which he does with impressive intelligence through a series of imaginary consultations. He is also leading his readers through an elegantly written, exhilarating inquiry into the shifting ways we have defined ‘self’ and psychological growth in this century." — Toronto Globe & Mail

Should You Leave? is also available in British, French, German, Korean, Portuguese, and Spanish editions, and as an audio cassette.